Seems kinda quaint, doesn’t it? Once upon a time, a bunch of folks tossed boxes of tea into Boston Harbor, complaining they were paying taxes without being properly represented by government. Now it’s about 250 years later, and let’s be honest. Is there ANY taxpayer here who is happy about how they are being represented?
Now don’t get me wrong. Your humble correspondent feels like he won the lottery just by being born here. We more or less have free speech, freedom to associate with whomever we want, and are free to pursue our own version of happiness — even if for some odd reason that means fixing other people’s toilets.
But you can’t enjoy these freedoms without FREE time. And you can’t have free time if all your time is spent finding things wrong with your house, worrying about them, trying to figure out who to call, contacting Fix St Louis, then watching us fix them.
So, on the occasion of the anniversary of our Nation’s birth, let Fix St Louis introduce you to some ideas to free-up your time, among the more recent advances in home repairs, some of which you may not yet know about. And if you’re reading this, you can probably afford all of them, at least someday.
Freedom from Staining Your Deck
You can actually never stain your deck again if you switch to composite boards that look like wood, and either PVC or metal railings.
Freedom from Worrying About Whether You Left Something On, Off, Open or Closed
Now you can drive away from your house without turning around to check whether you left the oven on, garage door open, the heat on or off, and more. You can control all these things remotely through your smartphone.
Freedom to Spill Stuff All Over Your Floor
Go ahead, spill it! If you have vinyl plank flooring it’s waterproof. Hardwood floors are beautiful but destroyable. Engineered wood floors may include packed sawdust that might puff-up like a sponge. Carpeting can be stained.
Freedom from Worrying About Creeps Hanging Around the Outside of Your House
But you already knew about RING doorbells and cameras. I know you are watching those videos on the Next Door app.
Freedom from Changing Light Bulbs
Yeah, the new LED light bulbs last longer. But why mess with changing light bulbs at all when you can now buy fixtures where those wires that light-up inside a bulb are built right into the fixture? Particularly great if your bulbs are 16’ up in the air on a vaulted ceiling. Look for the word “integrated” on the light fixture package.
Freedom from Cleaning Tile Grout
Those ceramic tiles around the walls of your tub or shower are so 20th century. We can install a sheet of ONYX on each of the three sides, so there are just vertical seams at the corners, filled with caulk instead of grout that can crack and become yucky. If you think of what granite looks like, you’ll have an idea of what ONYX looks like. But ONYX is acrylic-based, so is much less expensive.
Have American home repairs reached peak freedom? Well, unfortunately no. I’m now seriously considering organizing a “Boston Toilet Party” event where a bunch of us hurl our Congressionally-mandated, low-water-tank-capacity, weak-flushing toilets into the Reflecting Pool. But I don’t want to step on our country’s toes during its 250th birthday celebration.
So call your fellow freedom lovers at Fix St Louis soon, and maybe we can free you up to at least enjoy a hot dog on Independence Day.
