While sitting in a Lion’s Choice the other day, daydreaming about leaky faucets, the background music suddenly caught my attention. I couldn’t quite make out the lyrics, but they went something like “if you like it, you better put a wax ring on it”. For a moment, I thought the singer — someone you probably … Read more
Is it my imagination, or did millions of Americans just update their “Facebook Status” to “Demand Privacy,” after years of telling anyone who would listen how much more exciting their lives were than yours? No wonder Mark Zuckerberg had that deer-in-the-headlights look in front of Congress. Fortunately, we at Fix St Louis are not Mark Zuckerberg, because … Read more
We now know that Russians have been getting involved in our elections to sow confusion, division, frustration, and anger. So tell me, WHAT does a handyman have to do in this town to get Bob Mueller to investigate the OTHER AREA where Russians may have been practicing this – the light bulb aisle? If you’ve … Read more
Sure, you hear a lot about the war on women. But for those of us who spend a lot of our time with our heads in toilets, you’d swear there was a war on men. Let me bring you up-to-date on some developments in toilets that the mainstream media refuses to cover. Sitzpinklers It’s been … Read more
We know many of you are understandably concerned about how you will keep your home in good shape without the help of the federal government, in the event of another shutdown. Please be assured there is no need to panic. All of our handymen here at Fix St Louis have now been reclassified as “essential … Read more
So now the latest thing is Oprah should run for President because, well, because she’s Oprah. You can almost imagine her packing her Cabinet with real and kind-of doctors, like Dr Phil and Dr Oz. And yet, it seems unlikely she’d anoint THIS faux doctor, Dr Steve, even though I’d be only one who knew … Read more
On Christmas morning, many St Louis families will be gathering in their Family or Great Rooms to open presents and celebrate the holidays. And, it’s a pretty safe bet that when they look toward the heavens, nobody is going to see a bright star in the East or anywhere else, because they’ll be indoors and … Read more
On the 12th day of FiXmas my handyman fixed for me… 12 toilets running11 walls a cracking10 drains a leaking9 pictures hanging8 lights a blinking7 storm doors slamming6 tiles a laying5 wax toilet ringssss………4 falling shelves3 French doors2 slow-draining tubsand an off-track door on a pantryyyy……… WOW is all I can say. That FiXmas classic … Read more
The tell-tale signs are all around us. Your favorite radio station just switched to Christmas music, Schnucks is pushing whole turkeys. Furniture stores are running semi-annual going-out-of-business sales. This can only mean one thing – the FiXmas season is upon us. Sure, it’s the season of gratitude, joy, goodwill to men, blah, blah, blah, yadda, … Read more
(Loosely based on “Paul Revere’s Ride” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow) Listen ye homeowners and you shall hear,That the holidays are drawing near.Soon Thanksgiving, then December twenty-five;Hardly a homeowner is now alive,Who’s not dreading guest visits this year.Guests will arrive by land, and some by air,Only to find their host’s home in disrepair.Causing said host’s reputation … Read more