I suppose it’s a sign of the times that the folks who select the Time Magazine Person of the Year no longer even TRY to find someone who changed the course of history…like past recipients Winston Churchill, Charles Lindbergh, Pope John Paul II, or Queen Elizabeth. But with this year’s selection of Taylor Swift, we’ve reached the point where it’s now enough to simply be someone a whole lot of people like, nobody hates, and who operates a world class PR operation.
Now, we at Fix St Louis are no Taylor Swifts, even though you might get the impression we are EXTREMELY well-liked by gauging the behavior of our customers’ dogs when we arrive. And we’ll concede that we don’t have the star power to generate an enormous fan base of “Fixies” to rival her “Swifties,” who follow her every move, and compelled USA Today to assign a full-time reporter just to cover her.
We’ll have to settle for continuing to do great handyman work so that everyone likes us, while shamelessly stealing her “Swifties” name, which I pray has not yet been trademarked by her world class LEGAL operation.
So we proudly introduce Fix St Louis’ Top Five Swifties of the year, the fan favorites that will make your life better that we can knock-out swiftly. As you may know, Fix St Louis SPECIALIZES in small home repair jobs that can be completed quickly. It’s not that we DON’T do big jobs, it’s that no other contractor wants to do small ones.
Bathroom Sink Pop-up Stoppers
We can fix that annoying stopper at the bottom of your bathroom sink that never completely closes when you pull-up that stem behind your faucet.
Interior Doors that Won’t Click Shut
If you want privacy from your family, pets, or visiting relatives, there’s nothing more annoying than a door that won’t quite close all the way with that reassuring “click.” You can never be sure the door won’t open by itself. Fix St Louis can make that door stay shut.
Windows that Drop Like a French Revolution Guillotine When you Let Go
Ever lift-up the bottom sash of a window, then realize you can’t let go without it slamming shut? Or have a very hard time opening that window at all? Fix St Louis has a fix for both of these.
Converting a Ceiling Light to a Ceiling Fan/Light Combo
If you have a ceiling light in a bedroom, it’s not doing everything it could do to make that room livable. Let Fix St Louis add the functionality of a ceiling fan to make the room more comfortable.
Running Toilets
A lot of folks live with the sound of a small trickle of water coming from a toilet tank that goes on and off. Rather than making them calmer by bringing to mind a cool country stream, it usually irritates them, reminding them there’s one more thing that needs to be fixed. Fix St Louis can stop running toilets in their tracks.
So maybe it’s true that Fix St Louis will never go on a worldwide tour, and we will instead spend our lives driving through your leafy subdivisions, and doing loops through your cul-de-sacs. And maybe most or all of your nights will be spent in your own bed, too. But if you think about it, what’s better in life than spending time in your own, functional, comfortable home? Call us and make the Time Magazine Person of the Year jealous.
Dr Steve