Really, is there ANYONE who feels intense joy at the very moment they go outside to hang Christmas lights? Sure, we will always have with us a few happy-clappy, eggnog-fueled types who are the exception. But most of us grump about tangled wires, hooks on the house that fell off since last year, running wires through cobweb-infested walls, doors, and windows, and then creating trip hazards by strewing extension cords across our porches and lawns.
The problem, like everything else on this side of eternity, is power. They say that power corrupts and, sure, maybe it’s dangerous for OTHER people to have more power. But you look like a good person who can be trusted with it. And we, your humble serfs at Fix St Louis, would be more than happy to supply it.
Bypassing the Tortuous Path to Power
Fix St Louis knows that, for many of you, the path to power for your outdoor lights and large inflatable objects (we’ll get to those later) starts INSIDE your house. Like at an outlet that is kinda sorta near a window or door that can be cracked open just a little bit and, anyway, you can smash the window or door against it to restore some semblance of security or of sealing-out the cold air outside. (Now, those who already have outlets on the outside of their house may be mocking you now, but we’ll get to them later).
But I bet you never realized how EASY it is to add an outlet on the outside of your house. You’re probably thinking it requires a team consisting of a demolition expert, a carpenter, and an electrician to rip out sections of your floors, walls, studs, joists, insulation, sheathing, siding, and everything else to do this. Nope. Just look for an INSIDE outlet along an exterior wall of your house that would make a well-positioned OUTSIDE outlet if it were on the flip side of that wall. Fix St Louis can simply pop-through to the other side of that wall and install an outlet. Actually, it’s a little more difficult than that, but not much.
Avoiding a Power Trip
OK, you smug homeowners who have Christmas decorations on your lawn, and already have an electric outlet on the front of your house. What about those extension cords that are running across your porch and walkways, creating a trip hazard for your holiday guests? Fix St Louis can add an outside outlet on the side of your house away from the driveway so that the wires can be run throughout your lawn without crossing any porches or walkways. No trip hazard, except for those darn kids you’re always barking at, anyway, to stay off your lawn. Just kidding, you don’t look like the type who chases kids off your lawn. Well, at least not this time of year.
No More Tangles
Let’s say you have a power tool that needs to be plugged-in – like a hedge trimmer, or a blower, or a tire inflator. Or one of those lights you hang from the underside of your car hood to look at all those car parts you once were able to do something about, but now can’t. Wouldn’t it be nice not to have to un-wind and re-wind extension cords every time you use them? Fix St Louis can install one of those wall-mounted cord reels you’ve seen at auto repair shops, so you can pull-out the cord and retract it whenever you need it. If we install one with a 50’ cord length on a wall near the garage door, most folks could probably reach any car in their driveway outside their garage door, and most of their front gardens.
Your Own Power Station
You may have noticed there’s a whole new generation of power tools that come with rechargeable batteries, including lawnmowers, blowers, string trimmers, and edgers. We can mount their battery recharging modules on a garage wall near an outlet, so you don’t need to find some inappropriate place inside, like a kitchen table, to recharge these often dirty batteries.
Actually, “power” isn’t the only eternal problem with Christmas lights and decorations, and society in general. Not surprisingly, “inflation” also comes into play. Those blow-up characters in folks’ yards are getting so big, you gotta wonder when it will ever stop? How long will it be before we see an inflatable Empire State Building-sized King Kong in a yard with a life-sized blow-up of damsel-in-distress Fay Wray in his hand? Lucky for you, if you ever DID want one of those, you now know who has the power to save you. Fix St Louis.
Dr Steve
Fix St Louis