Fix St Louis reached out to King Charles III yesterday to express our condolences on the passing of the Queen, and wish him well in his new position. While he is apparently too busy to return our call right away, in fairness to him we must acknowledge that he and your humble correspondent probably don’t have much in common to talk about.
For instance, the King has probably never held a toilet plunger in his hands, and may not even know which is the business end. But, we DO have in common an intimate knowledge of “thrones,” albeit not of the same kind. Other common interests include – oh, I guess that’s about it.
Now in regards to the QUEEN on the other hand, while we might often fall short, we do our best to incorporate her traits of decency, integrity, and kindness. So we would like to do SOMETHING to keep her legacy in everyone’s minds, even though as mere tool-handling, home-fixing servants there are no known ways to do this.
We figure the closest we can come is through installing things in your home that remind you of the Queen, while moving your home further along the “What my house looks like now-TO- Buckingham Palace” spectrum.
Installing crown molding between the top of a wall and a ceiling can make any room a lot more interesting. Dining rooms, of course, but bedrooms and hallways, too. Anyone who has ever tried to install crown molding themselves has an appreciation for how difficult it is to create those “compound angles” at each corner, but at Fix St Louis we do this all the time. Let us handle this job and you’ll never be haunted by that defect you created that you know is there, even though nobody else might ever notice.
Wainscoting is decorative paneling on the lower part of a wall, usually with chair rail-level trim at the top and somewhat fancy baseboard at the bottom. The two most popular options for this paneled area are “bead board” that has a series of vertical grooves in it, and “picture framing” in which trim between the chair rail and baseboard is attached to the wall and arranged in squares and rectangles as if a picture belongs in the middle.
You know those ceilings that have wood beams that either run along the length of a room, or that create large tic-tac-toe squares? Fix St Louis can build them, either by installing and staining real lumber, or installing pre-fabricated units made of a foam material. Some homeowners already have these beams and might not like the way they fit with their tastes. No problem, Fix St Louis can also paint or remove them, and restore the ceiling to its original condition.
Coffered ceilings consist of a series of rectangular grids with sunken or recessed panels. Some rectangles might have crown molding along the upper perimeter of these sunken panels. And often there is a ceiling fixture in the middle of each panel, or lights shining up along the perimeters. Yup, Fix St Louis can build these.
You know that fancy-schmancy trim around the front door that some of your neighbors have? Maybe a bottom block (plinth) and a fluted column (pilaster) at each side of the door, decorative horizontal trim (crosshead) along the top of the door, then a large triangle or curlicue structure (pediment) above that? Hey, this isn’t like the monarchy, where if your house wasn’t BORN with these you are out of luck. Fix St Louis can fit your house for these and install them.
Maybe we should stop for now. We’re talking about your home, not Disney World here. But, if someone like the Royal-formerly-known-as-Prince can live like this, you can too. After all, dear reader, you’ve earned it and, without knowing anything about you, it seems to me you’ve worked a lot harder over the last 10 years than this fellow simply waiting for his turn. So it’s now YOUR turn to live like a King. Call Fix St Louis and we’ll show you how.
Fix St Louis