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Prepare for the next “Spooker of the House”

Look, as your handyman I’m just your humble correspondent, so I may not have this right. But is it just me, or does it seem like we keep electing people to the U.S. HOUSE who couldn’t even take care of their OWN HOUSES?

Our home-owning customers are competent, and face a series of deadlines they must hit each month or face real consequences. Mortgage payments, taxes, utilities, credit cards, trash bills, etc. Congress faces — what — one big deadline a YEAR to pass their budget, that they know about MONTHS in advance? But instead of meeting that deadline they wait to the last minute, then invent things called “continuing resolutions,” print money, threaten to shut-down if they don’t get their way, vote themselves raises, and pull fire alarms.

Makes you wonder how they could possibly handle the next big deadline we all face, Halloween, when hordes of candy eaters will be descending upon our neighborhoods. Do you suppose Members of Congress try to get away with tricks instead of treats? Like slip kids notes telling them to return for candy on some unspecified date in the future, blame the greedy kids who came before them for taking all the candy they had left, or pack them onto a bus and ship them to other subdivisions?

No, we at Fix St Louis know you, and know that you homeowners are better than that. Not only will you have plenty of candy to feed the coming parade of cowboys, Barbies, pirates, monsters, fairies, and swamp creatures other than those in Congress. You’ll make sure the front of your house is in-shape to make them feel welcome, even if you need to call Fix St Louis to do it.

As a subdivision warrior who rings up to 10 doorbells per day, I’d estimate that close to half of them do not work AT ALL. And about 20% of homeowners would prefer a RING doorbell that lets them see on their smartphone who is, or was, at their door. Fix St Louis can help.

Porch and Yard Decorations
In the last few years there’s been something like a competitive, spiraling arms race in the size of front yard holiday decorations. Enormous monsters, pumpkins, skeletons, and Santa Clauses are now sometimes taller than the house itself. And they need electricity to inflate, light-up, scream, or move their appendages. So unless you want to keep windows and doors open, so that the wires reach outlets inside, you’ll want electrical outlets either on the outside of your home, or in the yard. This may seem difficult to do and expensive, but Fix St Louis makes this happen affordably all the time.

Is the sidewalk leading to your front porch a trip hazard? Are the individual concrete slabs level with each other, with no raised areas from one to the other? Has the last walkway slab before the porch floor sunk so low that visitors would have to look down at their feet to notice, so might trip instead? Yeah, Fix St Louis can handle this, too.

I suppose this Halloween we should all be grateful that Members of Congress are tied-up in Washington instead of trick-or-treating, when — who knows? — they might ask for wads of cash instead of Snickers bars. But just in case, it’s still not too late for Fix St Louis to install a RING doorbell so that, if one shows up, you can shut-off your lights, and act like you’re not home. Why take that chance? Call us for all your outdoor holiday needs!

Dr Steve
Fix St Louis