You know, a few weeks ago I thought I had FINALLY figured out what they meant by “Artificial Intelligence,” aka “AI”. That was when that results-oriented, Harvard-educated Bud Light executive told us there wasn’t a future in the folks who drank her product, so she solved the problem immediately by getting rid of 25% of them.
I mean, yeah, she did achieve INSTANT results, and it sure LOOKED like she had a great deal of INTELLIGENCE, so I’m thinking maybe she has that thing they call ARTIFICIAL intelligence but not the REAL kind.
But since then, I’ve been learning that artificial intelligence works more like this. Artificial intelligence is when you swoop-up ALL the opinions on a topic from the Internet, you average them all out, then spit back the answer in easy-to-understand paragraphs.
But then I thought to myself, “WHOA! WAIT A MINUTE!!” If you asked everyone in a 1st grade class what was 2+2, yes, you would end up with the opinion of the AVERAGE student, but would you REALLY have the CORRECT answer? NO! Wouldn’t the correct answer more likely come from that apple-polisher in the front row whom nobody liked – the one who always had her hand up in the air?
Geez, if Fix St Louis had to rely on the opinions of average contractors, we’d be listening to the 30% who fail within one year, 75% who fail within three years, and 96% who fail within 10 years. Yet, what do you know? Now after more than TWELVE years, we’re still here! What do you have to say about THAT, Mr Internet?
Imagine our surprise when we learned that all these years we have owed our success to the practice of NON-Intelligence. So if you don’t mind the risk of becoming dumber by reading this, I’m going to explain to you why YOU demonstrate a higher level of intelligence every time you choose Fix St Louis.
We SPECIALIZE in SMALL jobs
Have you ever noticed that most of what you need fixed in your house are SMALL jobs, but contractors only want to work on BIG ones? You have a gurgling toilet, a sliding door that’s off its tracks, a ceiling crack, a rotted wooden board, a window that drops like a guillotine when you let go. Good luck finding a contractor who will come out to fix THOSE! Nope, only Fix St Louis lacks the intelligence to know you can’t run a successful contracting business if you mostly do small jobs.
Firm Appointment Dates AND Times
Have you noticed that when you agree to a job most contractors will say something like “looks like we’re running about 3 weeks out right now, but it depends on the weather, so we’ll call you about a week in advance to let you know when we’re coming?” And if it’s a SMALL job, you’d be more likely to hear from them MANY weeks after that, if ever at all.
Other contractors think we’re unintelligent, if not crazy, but we will give you FIRM dates up front. And we double-down on crazy by telling you we will show-up at a specific time, like 8:15 a.m., instead of “sometime in the morning.” I mean, after all, why is it “intelligent” for you to have to rearrange YOUR schedule to accommodate a shifting schedule of a contractor?
FIRM Estimates
We provide FIRM estimates so you know in advance what your job is going to cost (unless, of course, we discover a problem that could not have been known in advance, when we’ll immediately provide a revised estimate). We’re not going to charge you if a job takes longer than we anticipated, and we’re not going to nickel-and-dime you with “change orders.” After all, Fix St Louis is supposed to be the expert, why should YOU have to pay if things don’t go exactly as anticipated?
Is it just me, or does it sometimes seem like this thing they call “intelligence” is overrated? At Fix St Louis, we’ve been doing just fine without it. All we need are intelligent customers like you to recognize the difference and call us. How about now?
Dr Steve