Not to take anything away from the achievements of Olympic athletes…but seriously, who came up with this collection of wacky events? These skills they show-off — what are they good for?
Yeah, I can see that some of these skills had some practical value, maybe way back in 500 B.C. Like when that messenger ran 27 miles from Marathon to tell the Athenians they had defeated the Persians…right before he tragically collapsed and died.
So maybe the Greeks felt a need to train more messengers to run 27 miles and NOT die. But in an age when that message can be instantaneously delivered by text from an 8-year-old, isn’t it time for national training departments to move on?
But the events that REALLY make me wince are those that don’t show proper respect to building materials. Like that one where Simone Biles danced about on a flawlessly cut, stained, and sealed 4x10x16 board of lumber, which would have made a great fireplace mantel shelf.
Or that one with guys flinging hammers that weigh 16 pounds the length of a football field. Just WHO do they think is gonna fetch their hammers so they can continue their construction work?
For my money, I’d rather watch the professional-level athletes at Fix St Louis, who humbly perform impressive and useful feats every day, and don’t go full prima-donna about it.
Now I do respect those of you who perform some of these difficult handyman tasks yourself, and can do them safely and efficiently, without getting hurt or making the project drag-out until the next Olympic games.
But maybe it’s better to just watch and marvel at the skills and strength of Fix St Louis technicians. And unlike watching Olympic athletes, your home repairs will actually get done while you watch.
Attic Insulation
Adding attic insulation seems like an easy job for the DIY’er, but it’s harder than it looks. It requires the combined skills of a balance beam gymnast, a contortionist, and a meditation guru who can walk on nails with bare feet.
You see, when you’re in the attic you can only step on that grid of wooden joists, because if you step on the sheets of drywall between them, you may end up falling one story down and landing with a thud on the floor below. And if you stand-up in the dark attic instead of crouching, your head may be impaled by the nails sticking out from the roof above. Maybe it’s better to call the gymnastics team at Fix St Louis.
Concrete for Mailbox Posts, Fence Posts & Foundation Patching
A bag of concrete can weigh 80 lbs. And our weight lifters at Fix St Louis often carry TWO of them at a time, one under each arm. Why not let the professional weight lifters at Fix St Louis do that next job for you?
Ladder Work
The highest a pole vaulter has ever reached is 20’, a level at which Fix St Louis is just getting started. Geez, some of you have vaulted ceilings with CAN LIGHTS that high. We’ve got ladders that are 40’ tall, scaffolding that can take us even higher, and bucket lifts that can negotiate hard to reach places way, way up there.
I feel bad that Simone Biles didn’t contact us when she had to pull-out of the last Olympics 4 years ago, and couldn’t do much of anything since then, for lack of marketable skills. Maybe she’s learned something from that experience, and will sign-up with us to do attic insulation work after these games are over.
In any event, for your home repair tasks that would be better performed by someone with professional-level strength and skills, don’t be a participant, be an observer. Call Fix St Louis!
Dr Steve
Fix St Louis