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Quarantine Days sales event ending soon!: Repairs without time away from the office

Folks seem surprised to learn it’s been pretty much business-as-usual at Fix St Louis, and even MORE surprised it’s because handymen have been recognized as “essential” by just about every state in the union. Yes, we have been appointed to today’s pantheon of heroes, which has membership qualifications that range from the indisputable to the debatable, and now includes truckers, marijuana retailers, and grocery store clerks. 

But even though “essential” might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said about your humble correspondent, I promise we won’t let it get to our heads, which will never swell large enough to keep us from poking them into your toilets.

In fact, some of you have found these quarantine days among the BEST days to have Fix St Louis over. Especially those who are reluctant to take time away from the office, and prefer to be home the entire time we work, even though our criminal background checks and insurance make that unnecessary.

We’ve been doing our best to take BOTH the germs AND the “phobe” out of geromphobia. We’ve even introduced a comprehensive “Stay-Away-From-Me” program that we’re certain would be approved by the CDC, if they weren’t so busy on other things:

Inside Job Program

We swear, Fix St Louis technicians won’t come within 6 feet of you and your family members. It’s not that you smell bad or we don’t like you – we just want everyone to be safe. Beyond that, we’ve been accommodating all kinds of requests. For masks, just tell us what role you want our technicians to play – surgeon, bandana-faced stage coach robber, Phantom of the Opera, Dr Deborah Birx with a fabulous designer face-scarf – you name it and we will make every effort to comply.

Brick House Pig Program

If you REALLY don’t want Fix St Louis in your home, not even by the hair on your chinny chin chin, it doesn’t mean you can’t get the home repairs you need done. How about that deck outside that needs rotted boards replaced or could use staining? Those front porch columns that have deteriorated baseboards? That rotted white trim on the sides of your entry and garage doors? That detaching or fallen panel of siding? That thin sheet of metal, you didn’t know was even there, that fell from the angled side of your roof? Believe me, between emails, texts, speaking on the phone, and playing charades through the glass on your patio door, we can find a way to communicate.

Restraining Order-Level Program

There are even repairs we can handle for you that don’t require us to get anywhere CLOSE to your house. How about that broken, rusted, or leaning mailbox that has the neighbors wondering whether or not you really have your act together? Or that leaning fence, or broken gate? For these more remote repairs, let’s add to the communication alternatives above the use of a bull horn to tell us we missed a spot, or even smoke signals (depending on your local fire marshal).

So, feel free to take advantage of this unique time in history. A time when we call our customers to propose work dates and they’re more likely to say “yeah, sure, whatever” than “let me check my calendar.” Think of Fix St Louis as your go-to quarantine home repair specialists!

Dr Steve
Fix St Louis