Well, THAT was pretty scary, but at least it wasn’t like what happened in Joplin 14 years ago. Fortunately for most of us, we’ve been given at least one more chance to think about what we could have done differently, in case the NEXT one is the BIG one.
As your humble correspondent and servant, I couldn’t help but wonder about that look in your eyes when the sirens went off and the weathermen gave their annoying, but well-meaning, lectures about how you would not be a responsible adult unless you immediately grabbed every family member by the arm, and dragged them down against their will to the deepest, darkest, dirtiest, and cob-web-iest part of your basement. You see, I’ve actually been there and seen that place, and…well let’s just say what happens at Fix St Louis stays at Fix St Louis.
But as it turns out, whether by sheer coincidence or divine providence, that imaginary place described by the weathermen almost always describes the perfect location for a theater room. It’s as far away from windows as you can get, and there’s some open space that would go unused anyway.
And with today’s wireless Internet connections, you can now mount a TV there and watch the weatherman live, telling you about all the towns in Missouri you’ve never heard of, when airborne debris has been spotted in the subdivision just to your north, and when it’s safe to go upstairs.
Now, I know what you’re thinking when I say “theater room.” Because you’ve seen them on Pinterest, on click bait that shows the inside of Sean Puff/Daddy/P.Diddy/Diddy-Daddy/Whatever Combs’ home, and the Architectural Digest you glanced at in your dentist’s waiting room.
You’re thinking of a room that looks like the inside of the Fabulous Fox, with velvet, tiered theater seating, a fancy old-fashioned push cart full of popcorn, and a short clip immediately before the feature presentation that starts with BA-BABABA-BA-BABABABABA and ends with repetitive whispers of “Wehrenberg.”
I’m just saying you may not need to decorate that expensively or over-the-top to get your family to go down there without use of force. You don’t have to do your shopping at places like Amini’s, Watsons, or other places I refer to as “Everything’s $5,000” to create a space nobody would mind going to for a half hour. And who knows? Maybe you’ll even get your moneysworth when they return on their own for video games, football, cooking, and house-hunter shows.
So here’s some quick tips on decorating a theater room without getting carried away:
Walls & Ceilings
If you need ‘em because otherwise you’re looking at a concrete foundation and raw lumber, call Fix St Louis. We can hang drywall and drop ceilings. You might also want us to paint the walls a very dark blue, green, or black color with a matte finish to avoid glare.
Comfortable Chairs
At the low end of upholstered chairs, you can shop at IKEA or Target. At the high end, Amini’s and Watsons have leather chairs that can be adjusted into — I dunno — maybe a million different positions? Caution: You may not want to get up ever again, long after the weatherman gives you the “all clear” on the twister.
Lighting
You can have some fun here. Maybe wall sconces that have a Hollywood, art deco, or sci-fi look. Fix St Louis can install these on walls while hiding the wires behind the walls. Same goes for ceiling lights. Also, on drop ceilings we can install can-style lights or those in the shape/size of ceiling tiles.
Flooring
I feel mixed on this one. Carpeting DOES make a room more comfortable and is better for acoustics than a concrete floor. On one hand, Fix St Louis usually cautions against putting carpeting in basements, because it seems like sooner or later water ends up on the floor. On the other hand, there are some really cool movie theater-style carpets out there. If you don’t have a history of water problems in that section of the basement, I’d just go for it.
Things must have been a lot simpler back in the days of Auntie Em in Kansas, when she was somehow able to get everybody except Dorothy to crawl down through the cellar hatch, and sit in the dark for an hour, next to rows of burlap-sacked potatoes and peach marmalade in Ball Jars. But she probably would have preferred to have a weatherman warn her about the imminent storm, and tell her when it was safe to come out to search for her comatose niece.
So in these more complicated times, you might want to re-think how you’re spending your home improvement money. While a theater room might seem like a luxury, maybe it is actually a responsible investment in your family’s safety. We don’t judge. Fix St Louis is here to help.
Dr Steve
