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12 Days of Fixmas

This will be remembered by your humble correspondent as the year we helped countless customers do things at home they weren’t allowed to do outside. We created spaces to serve as at-home offices, classrooms, virtual family reunions, and more.

But as the year comes to an end, a new challenge has emerged. For the 2nd straight year, the Cathedral Basilica on Lindell has canceled an iconic Christmas concert, as have several churches in the area. How can you possibly re-create THAT experience in your own home?

And then it hit me. Sometimes Fix St Louis customers refer to their master bathroom, with their hot tubs and other amenities, as their “sanctuary.” Huh. The Cathedral has mosaic tile, and while master baths don’t have THAT, they DO have subway tile. The Cathedral has acoustics that cause sounds to reverberate. So does a master bath. The Cathedral has a choir of dozens of people with angelic voices. OK, but your master bath has a SOLOIST who’s staring back at you right now from your medicine cabinet mirror.

To warm-up, here’s a song that harkens back to the days before the EPA began to regulate the amount of water in our toilet tanks, presumably saving us from a drought of biblical proportions. During the year, we occasionally witness the miracle of a toilet flushing properly using almost no water, much as the Jewish people witnessed the miracle of a lit menorah lasting for 8 days with almost no oil. To the tune of “The First Noel.”

  • The first bow–ell, I ev-er did see
  • Had a gen-er-ous 6 gal-lon cap-a-ci-ty

The next warm-up song speaks to the hope that exists to solve even our smallest earthly concerns. To the tune of “O Holy Night.”

  • O ho-leee wall, the door-knob pierced while swing-ing
  • smallish job, that only one company will do.

Now, sticking with the timeless theme of the search for a small drywall job savior, let’s take it up a notch. To the tune of “Deck the Halls.”

  • Wreck the walls with wild abandon,
  • Fa la la la la, la la la la.
  • Who to call to patch, paint, and sand ‘em?
  • Fa la la la la, la la la la.

OK, that was great! I think we’re now ready for our big finale. As many of you know, the Church recognizes an Advent season, a few weeks to prepare for the celebration of Christmas. Well, we at Fix St Louis observe a parallel, FiXmas season, to help our customers prepare their homes for holiday guests. There’s no need to tell you the tune of our next number, but I’d like to ask you to raise your voices to the heavens, so that even your neighbors way in the back of the cul-de-sacs can hear you.

On the 12th day of FiXmas, my handyman fixed for me:

  • 12 toilets running
  • 11 plumbers plumbing
  • 10 drains a-leaking
  • 9 floors a-creaking
  • 8 fans a-spinning
  • 7 framers shimming
  • 6 tiles a-laying
  • 4 falling shelves
  • 3 French doors
  • 2 whirlpool tubs
  • and a broken door on a pan-try…

Wow. That FIXmas classic never fails to bring a tear to this old handyman’s eyes. So, I hope I left you with some important thoughts for the holidays. Whether you have a ding in your drywall, or want your master bathroom to rival the Cathedral Basilica, Fix St Louis would be honored to be your humble servants.

Merry Christmas and many happy repairs from Fix St Louis!

Dr Steve

Fix St Louis