Is it now safe for your humble correspondent to pull his head out from the toilet he’s fixing? Because based on TV’s I’ve overheard, from the next room over, it sounds like this may have been a difficult and absurd year. But I bring you good tidings. We’ve already entered the joyous FIXmas season, when … Read more
Maybe it’s just me, your humble correspondent, but I’m sensing an escalating and disturbing trend among politicians seeking higher office. Candidates now show up at the most unexpected places, performing tasks you’d NEVER expect from them, to demonstrate they’re either just like us average folks, or they’re the exact OPPOSITE of who they’re afraid we … Read more
We’ve all had to come to peace with the fact that we don’t live anywhere near a beach. Some console ourselves that at least we’ll never have to deal with hurricanes. Locusts? Definitely. Tornadoes? Sure. Earthquakes? Maybe. But hurricanes? Must we now worry that the trickle in the comically-named River des Peres, which on its … Read more
How could this happen? Our country, arguably the greatest nation on Earth for all time, sent 2 people up into outer space. We were told they had all “the right stuff”: A high level of intelligence, physical prowess, and advanced degrees from the most prestigious universities. They even had names like Butch Wilmore and Suni … Read more
Last week, your humble correspondent just noticed something, and I might once again be the last person to know. I’m seeing more and more WELL-CUT and EDGE-TRIMMED lawns FILLED with weeds, ESPECIALLY in those homes where the door is answered either by a well-to-do man in an ironed polo shirt, or a woman whose every … Read more
Not to take anything away from the achievements of Olympic athletes…but seriously, who came up with this collection of wacky events? These skills they show-off — what are they good for? Yeah, I can see that some of these skills had some practical value, maybe way back in 500 B.C. Like when that messenger ran … Read more
Our times are changing so fast, you can’t count on everyone to agree with common sense old sayings anymore. Like this one: When everyone around you tells you you’re drunk, maybe it’s time to sit down. By today’s standards, that might be considered offensive, a violation of the rights of the drunk person, and obligates … Read more
Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to be a college professor, who had time to think great thoughts, instead of always scrambling to get the next broken toilet to flush. I’d probably spend my time conjuring-up all kinds of new scientific laws, like this one I just came up with this week: “The … Read more
Those of us living in St Louis have a more nuanced view of tornadoes than those who only know them from the opening scenes of the Wizard of Oz. When St Louisans hear that one’s coming, we don’t immediately scramble to get home to Auntie Em, hop through a cellar door, then wait in the dark with … Read more
These days I’m getting a lot of questions about cicadas. Like, what harm can they do to your home and how to keep them out. Ya know, this only comes up every few years, so at first I didn’t know. Honestly, this old handyman can’t remember which part of a broken toilet he replaced this … Read more