OK, so maybe that fly got in when a door was opened, or it was resting on your sleeve when you entered the house. And lord knows why there’s a miniscule ant crawling on that piece of paper you’re reading. You try to ignore these tiny creatures, and do everything you can to avoid thinking … Read more
Outside
Suddenly there’s all this news that we need to remove everything from our foods that isn’t natural. They say we shouldn’t be eating anything processed, artificial, or synthetic, and ESPECIALLY foods that contain PETROLEUM. I have to admit, your humble correspondent must have been living in a cave all this time, because I never imagined … Read more
After months of scrambling, fixing everything that’s gone wrong in your homes, your humble correspondent noticed that something seemed strangely familiar. Locusts? Storms? Insects? One right after another?! Then it hit me. I walked up to a bookshelf, picked up this big book, opened it, and THERE IT WAS! In Exodus, Chapters 7-12. Now, I’m … Read more
If you’ve been puzzled for decades by what Bob Dylan meant by “answers” to his questions in “Blowing in the Wind,” this was a big week for you. Well, a big week for YOU, but not for me. While I may only be your humble correspondent, I’ve known these answers all along. Don’t get me … Read more
Look, I’m just your humble correspondent who fixes things that break. While that might not seem like much, at least we do provide a needed function to our community, and we take pride in being good at our job. But what about those whose job it is to keep our nation from being INVADED, for … Read more
Maybe it’s just me, your humble correspondent, but I’m sensing an escalating and disturbing trend among politicians seeking higher office. Candidates now show up at the most unexpected places, performing tasks you’d NEVER expect from them, to demonstrate they’re either just like us average folks, or they’re the exact OPPOSITE of who they’re afraid we … Read more
We’ve all had to come to peace with the fact that we don’t live anywhere near a beach. Some console ourselves that at least we’ll never have to deal with hurricanes. Locusts? Definitely. Tornadoes? Sure. Earthquakes? Maybe. But hurricanes? Must we now worry that the trickle in the comically-named River des Peres, which on its … Read more
Not to take anything away from the achievements of Olympic athletes…but seriously, who came up with this collection of wacky events? These skills they show-off — what are they good for? Yeah, I can see that some of these skills had some practical value, maybe way back in 500 B.C. Like when that messenger ran … Read more
Those of us living in St Louis have a more nuanced view of tornadoes than those who only know them from the opening scenes of the Wizard of Oz. When St Louisans hear that one’s coming, we don’t immediately scramble to get home to Auntie Em, hop through a cellar door, then wait in the dark with … Read more
These days I’m getting a lot of questions about cicadas. Like, what harm can they do to your home and how to keep them out. Ya know, this only comes up every few years, so at first I didn’t know. Honestly, this old handyman can’t remember which part of a broken toilet he replaced this … Read more