Maybe I missed it, but with all the campaign promises made this season, I don’t recall a SINGLE candidate promising to fix that closet door in your house that is falling off its tracks. Can you believe it?
That’s too bad, because that would probably give you more day-to-day satisfaction, and at much less cost, than either a wall OR free college tuition for all of your children and pets. It’s no wonder two-thirds of the country thinks the nation is on the wrong track – perhaps the candidates are LOOKING at the wrong track.
For all you closet door junkies out there, you should know that there are three key demographic groups. The ‘swingers’ are the standard closet doors that swing open and shut. They tend to be ignored by homeowners because they rarely cause problems other than an occasional need for realignment between the latch and the striker plate, or rubbing against the side jambs and flooring. We at Fix St Louis know how to rein-in these unruly swingers.
The ‘sliders’ are the closet doors with those heavy door slabs that slide left and right, bypassing each other. These doors are somewhat less predictable than the swingers, as they sometimes fall off their tracks. Some even develop their own unauthorized in-and-out swing, jumping the surly bonds of door guides attached to the floor. We at Fix St Louis can keep these sliders sliding.
Then, there are the doors that think they’re the hippest of them all – the ‘bi-folders’. These are the doors with the accordion-type moves, with each door split and hinged in the middle. But not only can these doors fall off their tracks, they can also get hopelessly stuck in really awkward, partially expanded positions. Yep, Fix St Louis can bring these doors back into the fold, too.
Hmmm. So, maybe the federal government DOESN’T need to do every stinkin’ thing for us. Maybe we DON’T need a federal agency regulating closet doors after all.
No, that’s just crazy talk. But, remember…. when it comes to closet doors, nobody has a better track record than Fix St Louis.
Dr. Steve
Fix St Louis
314-434-4100