So now the latest thing is Oprah should run for President because, well, because she’s Oprah. You can almost imagine her packing her Cabinet with real and kind-of doctors, like Dr Phil and Dr Oz. And yet, it seems unlikely she’d anoint THIS faux doctor, Dr Steve, even though I’d be only one who knew anything at all about REAL cabinets. That’s because, unlike Oprah, we at Fix St Louis must live in the REAL world.
Unlike Oprah, when things break we can’t just go out and buy all of our customers’ new houses. When our customers have broken toilets, no amount of Oprah-empathy is going to get those toilets to heal themselves. You also can’t fix a toilet by reading an Oprah-promoted bestseller that suggests that, if you think enough positive thoughts about that toilet, there are laws of attraction that will deliver the fixed toilet you’ve always yearned for.
So, let me humbly offer this partial list of home repair items that Oprah (and possibly, you) really can’t, won’t, and maybe shouldn’t even try to take on – those that might be best left to the REAL PROFESSIONALS at Fix St Louis, even though we don’t happen to be REAL DOCTORS.
- Fix that window that drops like a guillotine when you let go.
- Install a ceiling fan in a room without wiring on the ceiling.
- Make a running toilet stop.
- Repair that difficult door that doesn’t quite click shut.
- Deal with that ominous water stain on your ceiling that you’re trying not to think about.
- Replace the rotted boards on your deck floor.
- Get that doorbell to work.
- Replace that dirty, cracked, once-white goop around your tub ledge or shower base.
- Repair a light fixture that’s at the top of a vaulted ceiling.
- Get rid of those dings on your walls.
Hey, maybe I have it all wrong. Maybe Oprah’s long-term partner relationship is all about things like having someone always there to unclog her toilets. Still, if she didn’t have Stedman, she’d need Fix St Louis.