Steve Boriss

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Suddenly there’s all this news that we need to remove everything from our foods that isn’t natural. They say we shouldn’t be eating anything processed, artificial, or synthetic, and ESPECIALLY foods that contain PETROLEUM. I have to admit, your humble correspondent must have been living in a cave all this time, because I never imagined … Read more

After months of scrambling, fixing everything that’s gone wrong in your homes, your humble correspondent noticed that something seemed strangely familiar. Locusts? Storms? Insects? One right after another?! Then it hit me. I walked up to a bookshelf, picked up this big book, opened it, and THERE IT WAS! In Exodus, Chapters 7-12. Now, I’m … Read more

If you’ve been puzzled for decades by what Bob Dylan meant by “answers” to his questions in “Blowing in the Wind,” this was a big week for you. Well, a big week for YOU, but not for me. While I may only be your humble correspondent, I’ve known these answers all along. Don’t get me … Read more

Yeah, I know all of you are now thinking about the Super Bowl. But as your dedicated and humble correspondent, I feel morally obligated to avoid this distraction, and keep my head fully immersed in a MUCH more important bowl, the toilet bowl. And there were some encouraging and startling developments on this front last … Read more

Have you noticed they’re suddenly giving away a whole lot of these “Presidential Medals of Freedom”? Pretty impressive-sounding award, right? So, I naturally assumed someone like your humble correspondent could NEVER qualify for such an honor. Surely, these recipients must be serious people, who did serious things, perhaps even risking their lives so that others … Read more

Is it now safe for your humble correspondent to pull his head out from the toilet he’s fixing? Because based on TV’s I’ve overheard, from the next room over, it sounds like this may have been a difficult and absurd year.  But I bring you good tidings. We’ve already entered the joyous FIXmas season, when … Read more

Your humble correspondent read this week that nearly a quarter of Americans are considering skipping Thanksgiving dinner to avoid talking about the election. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? On the plus side, this will yield a lot more leftovers for sandwiches and future meals than in previous years for those of … Read more

Maybe it’s just me, your humble correspondent, but I’m sensing an escalating and disturbing trend among politicians seeking higher office. Candidates now show up at the most unexpected places, performing tasks you’d NEVER expect from them, to demonstrate they’re either just like us average folks, or they’re the exact OPPOSITE of who they’re afraid we … Read more